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Sarah Lynas | coach & mentor

Driving Lessons & new things

Published almost 2 years ago • 4 min read

Hello you,

I'm harking back today Reader... Do you remember the original Ford KA? When I was 28 I bought one. It was my first ever new car. It was neat and fun and absolutely perfect for me. I loved it!

At that time I traveled on the motorways quite often. I was, and still am, a confident and competent driver and I have no problem at all sitting in the outside lane keeping up with the traffic, just quietly getting on with going to where I was going.

However, I was bullied. There is no other way of putting it. I was bullied on the motorways in my little car.

On every single journey, there was someone right up my backside, who felt that I did not belong and that I should get out of their way. It was uncomfortable, and it made me really mad; I just felt out of place, not because I wasn't comfortable doing what I was doing, but because of the behaviour of the people around me. I looked different and so they didn’t think I belonged.

Then my son arrived in the world, and of course he would travel with me in the backseat of the car. At which point I became highly aware of just how close he was, in my tiny car, to the front bumper of the car behind because they were driving so close behind to intimidate me.

And so, sadly, it did not take me long to trade in my beloved little car for a Vauxhall Vectra, which I'm sure you'll remember was a big, solid, dependable motorway-friendly car.

You won’t be surprised to hear that that's when things changed. That's when I was treated like one of the gang and when other drivers accepted that I belonged in the outside lane, because I looked like them. I didn't get bullied anymore; the change was very noticeable.

Yay! I fitted in! But, hmm, at the expense of being me?

I still think about that time often, because things haven’t really changed on the roads.

These days I get to choose between driving our family Land Rover, or my little old Citroen; and still, the behaviour of the drivers around me more often than not depends on the metal box they see around me.

What has changed though, is me. Or rather, I’m not changing me this time, I’m standing my ground.

I’m using all of this as an opportunity to challenge myself to hold my own. Not to be aggressive, not to join in… simply to take up the amount of space that I deserve, with quiet strength, with quiet confidence.

I can't expect anybody else's behaviour to change, but what I can do is stand up for myself, take up my own space.

Of course you already know that the stuff I’m talking about doesn’t just happen on tarmac, it happens everywhere - but, honestly, it does make me feel way more confident to acknowledge my equal right as a driver, instead of diving into the hedge at the first sign of a bigger car - and then, weirdly, it really does make me more likely to stand my ground and build my confidence when I'm off the tarmac too. I can be me AND belong. 🙌


And you know what I’m going to say… my invitation for this week…

🌟 I would love for you to do this too; to think about where in your life somebody else is taking up more than their fair share of space, and where do you just need to stand your ground quietly, gracefully, and see what happens?

Please do reply and let me know if this resonates with you.

Now for the new things!


Goal setting... love it or loathe it?

Honestly I've avoided setting goals for years, even though I know goals are supposed to good for me (but then, so are sprouts...)
But I've come to terms with a gentle way of goal setting, and of creating the next steps path towards those goals, and I want to share it with you!

My new workshop Gentle Goal Setting is on Tuesday 7th June, 1pm, online for about 1 hour. There'll be a replay for ticket holders, and until next week you can get 20% off £70 £56.


Untangle your self-doubt!

Over the last two years I've hosted my Believe workshop quite a few times and it's just blissful to see the lit-up faces at the end...

"it's surprised me how simple it is when you look at what's actually stopping you" Dannii
"when I saw that even people I look up to, are just like me, it was empowering!" Emma
"I can see now that the limits are just in my head..." Fran

And now, it's back! You can join me in Believe on Tuesday 5th July, 7pm, online for around 90 minutes, to start untangling your self-doubt. Again, there'll be a replay for ticket holders, and until next week you can get 20% off £70 £56.


Fancy both?

I've bundled both these workshops right here, £100 until next week when the bundle goes up to £130.


OK, that's a lot for one week! As always, thank you for inviting me into your inbox; I love writing my letters to you and it's a real privilege to be here.

With love

Sarah xx

If you scrolled to the bottom, you missed...

PS. If you opened this letter expecting to hear about my teenagers driving lessons, you’re a little early; however, you can look forward to hearing how I cope as the anxious-and-overly protective-mum-of-a-new-driver from August onwards!

PPS.If you know a friend who'd enjoy a copy please do forward this to them and let them know that sign up for my weekly-ish letters is just here :)


How to connect with me

read my blog | hang out on Instagram | come for a peaceful retreat in my holiday Lodge

Sarah Lynas | coach & mentor

Helping women shift self-doubt and be themselves at last.

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